saphirafunora

Long time its been...since I made an entry. Anyways my life was not up to anything interesting as such. Have been keeping myself busy lately. Not with the happening stuff but yeah with guitar , colg and friends.

Things are changing, my life is changing dunno how but yeah i can feel the changes.Listening to robbie williams now, he is talented. After a long time yesterday, i was able to appreciate little things such as the atmosphere yesterday when ICE people were having their watever function. I didnt get that feeling since when I was in 8th or 9th back in school, when we use to go for those long cycling sessions. For some strange reason I feel all grown up and responsible. And for sure I am going to cry any moment now. I want to do some serious stuff in life, something worth. People ask me,"what is your life ambition?", and all i say is that i want to be really successfull. I dont think i really know wat i mean when i say 'successfull', is it money or is it something else. I dont know. there are a lot of things i still need o discover about myself,the people around me and life. The definition of the term 'fun' is changing with time. Initially it was all abt playing and school and guys. Now it is all about loafing around, drinks(not like i do it often or anything) and yeah guys. Now it is all about the chick clothes and style. Now i am getting goosebumps. Wonder what is in store for me out there. Keeping my fingers crossed. I am tired of all the failures. Have forgotten how success tasted like. And the failures are haunting me till date. Havent laughed hard like I used to when I was in school. Dunno, feel as if a part of my life has been taken away from me without my knowledge. Have lost that guy thing too. Its been ages since I have had a crush, the feeling when you have when you feel as if you are cloud number nine. Even when I meet a guy, just dont feel anything. Its like , "yeah so what if he is cute", like anything is going to happen. Its like I am bored and declare the result without any base. Maybe I just dont want anything to happen.Its like I want to refrain from anything hot happening. I am just so used to having my life being all the boring types.

Have been thinking of Dhanya a lot these days. Miss her a lot .She was one of the very few people with whom I was just myself. There are a lot of sides of me which people havent even seen. They have hardly seen me. They just know this gal who dresses smart and the one who is cool with no tensions. Dhanya had seen it all. God knows where she is. Hvae tried so hard to track her down. Even my parents dont know me as well as she does. She knows me inside out. Though it had hardly been a year that we were together, but we got along so well. And then there is daniel, he knows me pretty well too. Well chithu dont know, i am different with her,with yashu i am all the yashu types, with poo all the sensitive types. Crap!! rwo people with whom i was anjita, one of them lost and the other busy with his life. Dont blame him though. He ties his best to keep in touch even with so much happening in his life. And yeah there was praveetha too, but we have hardly been conversing these days. I think we have lost the touch that we used to have when we were together. I guess she is happy with her life and her boyfriend. Wish her well. Ramiah was abad option. I should have analysed my potential before joining it. It took everything from be and gave me so very little in return. Even shweta who didnt spend as much as i did is having a better life that me. Not fair!! But who is the judge anyways?? Its me. I screwed it up!! My confidence has been shaken so badly that i am even scared to start another one. I have witnessed nothing but failures in the past three years of my life.From IIt not working to my backlog in my EDC lab. I cannot go wrong everywhere right? And I dont believe in the ' fate' thing. wat the fuk went wrong. I just didnt put enouh effort. No wait i did. Others didnt even put as much as i did and yet they are better off than me. Crap forget it. This debate will go never ending. Should accept the past the way it is and make an effort to have a better future. And what about the present?? Well thats now.... got to take it as it comes.....

Yeah....makng an effort to keep myself busy. attending the classes after which playing TT....and then going to the guitar classes!feeling good now!
yeaterday....played TT for two whole hours!! m improving in my game...slowly but surely.yesterday me n chittu chatted for hours...nice person she is...not the complicated types! fun to be with...talked abt each others lives...was fun!! went for a drive after our guitar classes...was fun!! hope poo joins us soon...it will be even be more fun.
Wanted to go to bangy...but then wat abt colg? may not go this time. listening to Dire Straits right now...nice music! tmrw monday yaar...damn! no free hours....and no TT. want my game to improve at a faster pace!!bhayia has gone all busy types....but he sure is a sweetheart!! says he is busy in such an adorable way!! miss him yaar!! that was one of the reasons wanted to go to bangy. lets see when i can make it there.his b'day on 11th...wanted to be with him atleast this year! have not celebrated it together since 4 yrs...!!
Daniel is so adorable.....really sweet...again not the complicated types.
my balance is getting heavily screwed chatting with him almost everyday!
one of the very few persons with whom can talk for hours without really keeping a track on the time...and without getting bored! chithu competing to get on the list of these very few people!!
This world has surely not fallen short of nice people!

Want to go to bangy!!!! but where will i stay??? my bro staying with his roomies!!....rakahabandhan and his b'day is coming up!! wanna go to bangy!!!!!!!! have put on little weight.....not doing anything about it though......chatting with daniel here.....asking me how will my kind of guy be.....hmmm.....watever!ha ha ha ha .......he wants a girl who is really smart.... the types of sushmita sen!!! i told him...wont she be a little too tall for you??....i bet he must be fuming right now!!! lets see...wat he replies to that!....ha ha ha....he let that comment pass....!! says so wat else....well he is not actually short or anything....must be around 5'9....watever....met ramya after a long time...she has put on a little weight...but good for her...she was so skinny before...we talked for so long!!it was so much fun.....her love life has gone all complicated....WHY WHY??? why do things have to be so complicated??? anyways people make it complicated.....if i was in their place...things would go really peacefully...... (hopefully)...but where can it go wrong anyways?? watever.....hmmm....nothing much i guess.and i really don get the funda that.... it is only the guys who can ask girls out...why cant it be the other way around?? this concept is really hot in india!! how boring yaar!! i simply cant relate to it!!! watever.....got to go now.....dinner time!!!

hmph!! got late again....damn the bus!!had to miss the first class...bleh watever.....
bhayia has gone all busy types. maybe will go to bangy on raksha bandhan....lets see.
dont have a boyfriend!! damn yaaar!! all the cute guys are either taken or are old!! and the smart girls like us are left out!! sad!! but watever its ok....its not that my life has gone hell or anything....its just thst i wanna knw the feeling of having a boyfriend. bhayia has got cute friends....but then again they are BHAYIA'S friends!! and why the hell will they be single anyways?? iitians+cute!!who would miss a package like that!!dunno wat will happen to me though....i mean after my b'tech. want to mba....but may opt for ms too.....but please...shouldnt do a job!! that is immediately after b'tech!!should get a scholarship too....incase its mba outside....my dad will go mad if he has to pay 50 lakhs per annum!! ms is bearable....around 20....but mba will be fun. lets see if i can crack cat though....got to start the cat thingy from 3rd year. wanna do the guitar thing too...lets see may go today to the place where niki goes. and if prav lets me know the address of that german place...will got here after colg. i wanted to journalism at some point in my life.....dunno if i can do it after my b'tech...lets see...will check out on the net now........

hmmm....i loved today!! i met my friends from school....finally!! it was soooo much fun!! i feel really sad for daniel.....i really wished things had worked out for him......but one hell of a dumbo he is!! who asked him to break up?? fear of commitment....he says....or thats wat i heard!
tried to talk to him today about his stupidity....but he wasnt willing to. thought i will stuff some sense in his head.didnt get a chance to. guys i tell you.....!! they sometimes do the stupidest of things....freak out on stupid things....and claim to be all macho types!!
Anyways things worked out well for poo too.....she had a great time with that ashish guy. he seemed to nice. i was totally freaking out when she told me that she was going out with some guy she had never met......anyways when i met him...i let out a sigh of relief!! he was fine....not the loafer types. but he is 25 yaar....damnit!! all nice guys are either taken or are old!! and all the smart girls like us....are left out!!
again...why the hell am i single?? :( maybe something is wromg with me....i just dont give a guy any oppertunity......basically dont get any one new enter my boundary....maybe i am satisfied with the friend concept......all my old friends who are guys are killing me to get a boyfriend soon.....the above analysis that i had put up above was theirs!! yeah....when should i realize that? i suck when it cmes to things such as flirting and a boyfriend......damn!!thats how i am!! somebody please help me!!!

today??? how was my day??? ha! dont even talk about it!!! i had the worst day of all...!! the bloody bastards of my college are so fucking disgusting!! ok dont stop me...cause i am going to go on for quite some time.....we tried getting out of colg.....yeah...and wanna know wat happened....?? well i screamed at that watchman who screamed back at me........ i missed the 1st two hrs because my other two friends cundnt make it outside the college...so we go back into the colg....and then try sneeking out again....the bastard catches us doing so....so we go to the princi to get the permission and he asks us to go to the hod....well i cudnt go to him because i had missed his class in the morning........so i go to the common room....and half the dept janta was hanging out there...so i convince one of them to go to the hod and get the permission....but from nowhere...........guess what...????????
HOD LANDS IN THE COMMON ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!1
can you beat that??????? hod in our common room??? ha i thought he didnt even knew that it existed. well.....of all the people...he asks me......
"how come you not attending the classes??" and i mumbled some story......
god knws if he took it........and this is not it...keep listening and you will get royally entertained.............
well on my way down the stairs i bump into my eca lecturer!!! whose class i had missed in the morning.....and i was on my cell at that time talking to my dad!! so my chances of failing in my eca lab are 100%!!!
Boy!!! one hell of a fucking day it was!!!

ha! today was a nice day....well nothing special happened as such.....but it was fun. i have decided.....that 'es' lady has successfully crossed all the boundaries of insanity!!actually i wanna start reading out my dictionary to her right now!!
We are finally getiing somewhere with our stuff that we had decided yesterday.....for which we had actually missed all our classes!! nice place that seems to be. and there are so many people to help us out!!its gonna so satisfying to do all this stuff.....i feel good already!! always wanted to help someone who has not been that fortunate.....
Today the lab was kinda ok...its usually fun...but that stupid software ditched us!! my lab external is on somwhere around the first week of august. got to start reading for that.ummm...well nothing else about the colg stuff.....
I dont have a boyfriend......though i am happy being single...but still... i dont have a boyfriend!! poo is going out on a date with that yash guy on sunday.....hope it works out! that raghav bastard....ooooo how i want to kick his ass(which is actually nonexistent....or atleast it seems to be...lol!!)
I wonder why i am single.....maybe didnt find the right guy....or god knows.....
BTW...THAT 'WHOOPA' IS THE CHANDELER WAY OF EXPRESSING HIS JOY...WHOOPA!!

hmmm......this is my first entry....feels good though......


today was kinda ok day. missed the first hour....damn the bus! have already cursed it a lot of times.....but i missed my hod's class....watever...
attended the rest.....ok missed ptsp too! but hey that lady is always so confused!!! the lab was fun though!! finally.seems like the lab assistants are not bitchy....unlihe the ones in the 1st year....oooo how i dislike them!!

my dad was giving me the regular lectures as to how i consider the house as a guest house......but believe me i do try to get up at 6 every day....but end up getting up at 8........yeah i knw bad....i keep saying that to myself when i go to sleep EVERY night.

tommorrow is wednesday!! will legally come out of the colg at 1 'o' clock!!
cause tmrw is half day!! going to meet my friends(the school ones) this sat for lunch....its gonna be so much fun!!its been a long time since i met them!!miss my school days so much.

i need to lose weight.....i am fine...but i shouldnt gain....and yet again not going for the regular walks........which have now gone irregular.....god those people made so much fun of me after the iit episode....after which i had put on weight...especially daniel!! and people say that guys dont notice a few extra pounds!! whoever said that!!